Laughing About Crying

Rhodesian Ridgeback, Chicago, Marking Our Territory

Crying is all right in its way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do. 
C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair

I’m currently working on a 5+ week streak of  crying at least once each day. I only wish I had this kind of consistency and productivity in all areas of life. The tears are cathartic, but they can easily overwhelm me if I let them.  That’s why I created my own game show called What Makes Me Cry Today!? It’s a good way to cry when I need to, but it also lets me laugh at the new and interesting things which I’ve discovered bring me to tears.

My brother running along the beach with Penny? Cue the waterworks and the laugh track.

Rhodesian Ridgeback, Chicago, Marking Our Territory

Penny sleeping in the same sunlight where Eko once rested his head? Tears and chuckles.

Rhodesian Ridgeback, Chicago, Marking Our Territory Rhodesian Ridgeback, Chicago, Marking Our Territory

Our Ridgeback pal, Pheobe, making a silly face like Eko used to make? OH COME ON, REALLY!? Well, I don’t make the rules, I just play by them. A cry and a laugh it is.

Rhodesian Ridgeback, Chicago, Marking Our Territory

No, you cannot be serious. I am at the supermarket walking past red apples and I’m crying because it brings up a memory?? This game isn’t fair. I wipe my eyes and grin.

Rhodesian Ridgeback, Chicago, Marking Our Territory A trip to the beach when the wind blows like the day it did when Eko died? I’m sure it’s just going to be tears. I worry it might only be tears this day and every day. But then my little Wile E. Coyote dives into the frigid water thinking this will finally be the day she catches the kite surfer. I can’t help but laugh hysterically.
Rhodesian Ridgeback, Chicago, Marking Our Territory

So these are my days. I cry, I laugh, and we carry on chasing the things we may never catch. The tears slow a bit more each day, but the laughter and our new adventure have only just begun.

58 Comments

((((hugs))))))) you will never, ever, ever not cry (I don’t mean that in a bad way), when I lost my first cat, “my soul kitty” whom I had 18 years…….he passed in 2007………to this day, if I allow myself I can cry with the same raw emotion as I did the day it happened. There is nothing wrong with crying……nothing at all……it DOES get easier……….. It doesn’t mean you can’t be happy…..you are finding happiness, you will continue to experience happiness……but you will always still have a tinge………..it’s like that when we lose anyone we loved………it should be……..and it’s ok!!!! Life is STILL GOOD!!! We love you!!!!!

Well…I replied the first I heard of the loss of Mr. Eko, & I’ve cried every time I’ve read your posts, sometimes not being able to finish. Of course, I’ve not cried every day, but I know your pain, that pain, all too well. And, on my flight to visit family this weekend, I had to read your prior post to this current, because I wanted the details, in hopes of learning something I could watch for in my Chi-Chi girl, in case what happened to Eko, I could learn, understand. To my dismay, I wept in my seat, still at a loss for the senseless death of dear Eko, and still no answers. Another reason/justification for considering my pups(past & present) a member of my family. I’m thankful everyday for my fur baby, as she’s my present day gift of life that brings me more joy than I could possibly imagine. The thought of ever losing her hit me like a ton of bricks when I heard about your losing Mr. Eko, but I wouldn’t have it any other way! My life is enriched 100-fold with her to share it with, so I’m trying to make everyday count, because if/when the time comes, I can only hope my memories with her help me through the tough times. Take care Will, & it must be of some comfort to have Emily & Penny to help you cope. : )

It’s a rollercoaster ride. Last summer when we lost 3 in a row I thought I was over it. Just recently my husband and I discussed how we have been slowing down. First, we blamed it on age. Being we are both in our 60’s . As we talked we realized we both were dealing with depression. The loss took a toll. Keep the feelings flowing let it be what it is.

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