Pets make the best accomplices

To tell you the truth, I’ve lied before. Just the other day I told Emily I didn’t eat the last piece of cake. If it hadn’t been for that frosting on my face I would have gotten away with it. But unlike my above blunder, a good lie has to be believable. That’s where my dogs, the best accomplices a guy could ask for, come in. If I want to easily extricate myself from a social event? I just say I have a puppy at home, in a crate, distraught at my absence. I totally play up the emotions.

This is the sad portrait I paint. In reality, when I get home I usually have to drag a happily sleeping Penny out of the crate against her will

Have to politely turn down an invitation? “I would come, but I have no one to watch the dogs.”

“Will, let’s be serious. We watch you as a public service.”

Need a quick excuse in a hurry? Just say the magic word – “Puppy!”

Come on, who would question those eyes?

And the best part is that all pets are perfectly happy to be your silent accomplice. Even pets that aren’t yours will work for a bribe or two.

“My lips are sealed.”

 “We didn’t see anything, officer.”

Now, my responsibilities to the pups sometimes do in fact prevent me from doing other things I legitimately want to do. However, I’ll admit I do sometimes fib or stretch the truth a bit if I need to make a get away. The best part is that I know my crew will never snitch on me! Well, as long as I keep the treats coming.

Come on, fess up. I know I’m not the only one who does this! Who out there has used their pets as an accomplice?