There are so many things for a puppy to learn in this great big world, but where to start? For Rhodesian Ridgebacks at least, the answer is easy. Which is why I didn’t waste time telling Zero the hard truth of his existence and the dire necessity of his work. Below is the transcript of Zero’s first day on the job.
WILL: Zero, do you have any idea how many lion attacks there have been in Chicago since we moved here five years ago?
WILL: No, I mean there have been zero attacks.
ZERO: I haven’t attacked anybody, I’m just a puppy!
WILL: …there have been NO attacks.
WILL: And do you know why that is?
ZERO: No, but I suspect you’re going to tell me…
WILL: Let me tell you! It’s because brave Rhodesian Ridgebacks keep them at bay!
WILL: Exactly. Without your service this city would undoubtedly be overrun with lions.
WILL: The short answer is pretty much you just need to act like Penny and everyone, lions and otherwise, will keep a move on to steer clear.
WILL: With reservations….yes.
And thus this wild rumpus began. Zero bravely battled his first lion with a fierceness to make his big sister proud.
It’s not an easy job keeping the citizens of Chicago safe from lions, but luckily we have a new vigilante ready for the task.