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September 29, 2016

[Vignette] My Dog Has A CVS Rewards Card

For whatever reason, dogs have never started their own pharmaceutical companies. I suspect it is because such an endeavor would cut into nap time. Conveniently, a large number of human drugs work just fine for our pups. So a few years back when Eko broke his toe, my vet sent me to the local pharmacy to pick up some medication to help him recover.I cheerfully said hello to the CVS employee, slid the vet’s prescription across the counter, and politely asked the gentleman to have it filled.“Patient name?” the employee asked robotically, turning to his computer.
For whatever reason, dogs have never started their own pharmaceutical companies. I suspect it is because such an endeavor would cut into nap time. Conveniently, a large number of human drugs work just fine for our pups. So a few years back when Eko broke his toe, my vet sent me to the local pharmacy to pick up some medication to help him recover.I cheerfully said hello to the CVS employee, slid the vet’s prescription across the counter, and politely asked the gentleman to have it filled.“Patient name?” the employee asked robotically, turning to his computer.Surely my dog hadn’t started an account at CVS, so I assumed the man was talking about me.“Will…” I began“Your dog’s name is Will?” the man asked, incredulous.“No, I’m Will. But my dog doesn’t have a CVS account,” I explained“These prescriptions aren’t for you,” he countered, as if I was trying to pull one over on him.“Well, no, but are you saying my dog needs to come in here and fill these? Because I’m not sure how that would work.”“No, your dog is not allowed in the store,” the humorless employee said.The CVS employee and I then stared at each other for a very uncomfortable few moments.“So can you fill them?” I tried again.“Patient name?” the strange gatekeeper riddled again.“Mr. Eko?” I guessed.The automaton then began tapping away at his keyboard to create a pharmacy account for my dog.“Patient phone number?” he asked, dead serious.“Based on your interpretation of the previous question it seems like you are now asking for my dog’s phone number,” I began. “But my dog doesn’t have a phone, so is it okay if I just give my number?”“Yes, that’s fine.” The man returned to his furious typing. “Patient Rewards Number?”“I actually just moved here and I…he…we don’t have one. Could I open one today?”“Yes. I’ll do it now.”“Thanks. While you’re doing that can I ask why you’re entering my dog’s name and phone number into the system?”“It’s important to track all pain medications to prevent opioid abuse.”“If I’m understanding the situation correctly, in case my dog gets addicted to dope, drives to the veterinarian, convinces her to write him a prescription for pills, enters this store that he’s not allowed into and attempts to buy drugs – the system will catch him?”“No, sir, the system is designed to catch you.”“Well my name is Will and I actually happen to have the same phone number as my dog, so wouldn’t it be easier to put it under my name?”Mr. Robot did not find my plan as brilliant as I did. I waited for Eko’s prescription and tried to decide if I was crazy or if that guy was. My best guess is that the correct answer is not mutually exclusive. I picked up the medication and my new CVS card and figured that either way I’d gotten the last laugh out of the situation.That is, until the next time I visited a CVS, the employee swiped my rewards card, looked at me in confusion and said, “Your name is Mr. Eko?”

Comments for [Vignette] My Dog Has A CVS Rewards Card

  1. […] via [Vignette] My Dog Has A CVS Rewards Card — Marking Our Territory […]

  2. Our dogs have prescription accounts, too. 🙂 But since their names aren’t quite as unique as “Mr. Eko” we don’t even get a blink from the pharmacy people.

  3. Jesse says:

    I couldn’t help but laugh at this. Definitely an interesting situation to be presented with. Sadly it must mean that someone has tried this tactic before haha.

  4. Sorry that you had to go though that….but you made my day with this story :o) we had a gls-guy who claimed that Easy has to sign for a parcel…after discussing 20 minutes the guy brought the parcel back to gls-point and Mark tried to pick it up…. the first question was: do you have the authority of the recipient?

  5. Oh lord…proving that there’s only one color when it comes to the healthcare system…red…as in red tape. Sheesh. Your story sheds a lot of light on why CVS has problems. Humorless employees and crazy rules.

  6. Ogee says:

    Well, apparently our vet is not up to speed. They still make humans sign and take responsibility for medications. 🙂

  7. Connie Taylor says:

    We’ve never had to open up a CVS account for our pups. It’d be interesting to see what they’d say, since both dogs are named after our former and current governors! Maybe they’d be approved for a bigger discount ❗️

  8. Elyse says:

    Folks who deal with drugs really do need to have a sense of humor.

  9. Abbie says:

    Oh my gosh, this is hilarious!! I almost can’t believe that the pharmacist was such a little robot, but at the same time I’m not at all surprised. If any dog was going to drive to CVS and get something, though, it would be your two!

  10. Victoria Coleman says:

    please tell Eko he is not alone -Muffin has a CVS card too! but my cvs folks were very nice about it -explained that they didn’t want it under my name because then it would bill thru my insurance which would be fraud.

  11. TheRidgebackLife says:

    Classic! At least he didn’t ask Eko to come up with a personal identification number

  12. Jan & Rusty says:

    My Rusty takes human meds, too. One pharmacy continually asks for the last 4 digits of Rusty’s social security number. And the prescription clearly states that he is a dog. Mr. Robot is alive and working everywhere!

  13. coastingnz says:

    Horrah Welcome back Will and Mr Eko – thanks for my morning laugh. So funny – what a goofball – the man at the pharmacy NOT Mr Eko or you lol

  14. I am SERIOUSLY DYING LAUGHING HERE!!!! OMD I don’t want Dakota to be sick…but…..we get our prescriptions at CVS and want to see what they would do!! LOVED THIS!!!!!

  15. Eve says:

    OMG — Oh this was so much fun to read and I’m surprised you didn’t have to show up with Mr. Eko! Lucky for Juley – her vet still fills her prescriptions but the local pharmacies are saying get them filled here! LOL

  16. Emmadog says:

    My mom has had our prescriptions filled at our local pharmacy for us and it is always a real odd thing, but in the end, it is convenient.

  17. Apparently, rules are rules are rules. Don’t break the rules, Mr. Eko – or whoever you are….

    Love and licks,
    Cupcake

  18. You made me laugh, Mr. Eko! This reminds me of the time that Harper Lee and I went to a new vet and the person behind the desk asked, “Last name?” to which I replied, “Hers or mine? Oh . . . wait . . . we have the same last name.” She undoubtedly thought I was a complete fool. 😉

  19. Jo Rhodes says:

    All of my furry people have human names. I’m sure we’d get strange looks.

  20. Pretty funny situation but sadly very real. Like when you call into a large customer call center and the agents get all wonky if you ask them something that their script doesn’t cover. The irony of the situation is that this experience stuck with you enough to write about it way after it took place and the CVS guy probably didn’t think about it for more that three seconds after you left the counter….

  21. So funny. Vet would never call me in, but would always call for Alfonzo Jones. As Alfonzo was usually known as Alfie (among many other names) and I’ve never been Alfonzo, there was a lot of looking suspiciously round the room till we finally realised it was us. (I’d keep an eye on Eko’s mobile phone use btw 🙂 )

  22. James Hester says:

    Just[😊] like in( Drag Net) just doing my job,so funny love it

    ________________________________

  23. Max has a CVS card too but I hate when we need to fill prescriptions since each encounter is like Groundhog Day – the same questions, doubts, “uh, we cannot find him in the system”, “What was his birthday again?” Sheesh…any wonder the snark comes out!

  24. Madsnapper says:

    My heart aches for you in your sudden loss of this most beautiful member of your family…

  25. We couldn’t add a comment to your other post but wanted to tell you that we are so sorry for your loss of Eko. Losing a dog at any age is hard but at a younger age and out of the blue is even harder. POTP to you and your family.

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  26. KarenS says:

    Like others I could not comment on your post regarding the loss of Mr Eko. I remembered a post I had seen a few months back, where the pets we lose gather at sunset after crossing the rainbow bridge. May Eko continue to be by your side each day as the sun sets.

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